How do You Solve a Problem like Maria

The Sound of Music

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee,
her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair!
I even heard her singing in the abbey

She’s always late for chapel,
but her penitence is real
She’s always late for everything,
except for every meal
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
Maria’s not an asset to the abbey!

I’d like to say a word in her behalf (and say it Sister Margareth)
Maria makes me laugh!

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibberti gibbet!
A willo’ the wisp!
A clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her,
many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I’m with her I’m confused,
out of focus and bemused, and I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather, she’s as flighty as a feather,
she’s a darling, she’s demon, she’s a lamb
She’d out-pester any pest, drive a hornet from his nest,
she could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle, she is wild, she’s a riddle, she’s a child
She’s a headache! She’s an angel! She’s a girl

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibberti gibbet!
A willo’ the wisp!
A clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her,
many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?